Hydrate or Die, Wallaman Falls

Wallaman Falls, the highest single drop waterfall in Australia. It was here that I was to learn a very poignant lesson in health and safety.
From the viewing platforms at the top you can soak in the atmosphere of the cavernous pool, following the water as it tumbles down the side of an impressive mountain side into a spray covered abyss. How wonderful it is to see the force of nature carving gorges many hundreds of meters deep into the rocks. But, its only wonderful for as long as it takes the March flies to realise you are there. Once one gets your scent, they are all over you and then your peace and tranquillity is over as the swat dance starts.
We started the descent to the viewing platform at the base of the falls. There was only one path down through the forest and I started taking pictures of some of the many fungi I could see. I also stopped to read the information board which explained of the many poisonous plants and trees in the area. The boys raced ahead to the falls and I slowly made my way down the thick, dense forest, slowing down once in a while to take a picture or two.
I had completely forgotten to bring a bag with me, remembering only to strap on a spare camera lense and forgetting the essentials like water. This day was extremely hot and humid, the sweat was streaming down the backs of my legs and those people who passed me coming back up looked as if they had all been for a swim as they were perspiring so much. The boys were so far ahead of me now that I could neither see nor hear them. I was terribly thirsty but had nothing with me to drink. I was so far along the walk now that it seemed ridiculous to turn around without quickly getting to the bottom. Following the only path down to the base platform and quickly trying to snap a picture whilst keeping my camera still without a tripod in the low forest lighting and simultaneously fighting off the hundreds of March flies which were piercing me with their needle like blood suckers, what should have been a very enjoyable relaxing moment taking in the view turned out to be an extremely hectic and traumatic few minutes. Feeling a little crestfallen at the lack of any peace at the end of my downward climb I started on the journey back up again. The walk up was hard as all I could think about was where the boys could have gotten to and my thirst. I was about half way up the mountain when I heard the scream of the boys calling out my name with urgency. They were very close and they seemed to be running. I turned a corner and Phil almost ran into me, closely followed by Gareth.
“Where on earth have you been?”
“What do you mean? Where have you been? There is only one path up and down! I have been on it! Where were you two?
“We were on the only path!”
After much repeating of the same sentences we came to an agreement that our universes must have split off into parallel paths in alternative worlds for that was the only explanation we could come up with for losing one another on the one and only path.
The boys seemed rather pleased to see me in one piece after imagining that I must have fallen off the path into the dense undergrowth with a broken ankle or something after they couldn’t find me on the way up.

That evening we opened some wine we had been given as we ate some tinned chilli in a make shift camp. I remember getting very merry very quickly and very little else afterwards.
In the early hours of the morning I awoke in a steam bath with something wet on my face. I opened my eyes and my head was wobbling all over with extreme aches and pains. My eyes couldn’t focus and the pressure in my head made my hearing messy and laboured. As my eyes came into focus I tried to figure out where I was. I was so confused. I could see the tent but I felt like my body was upside down. I was curled up in one corner and I could feel something moving next to me, then the wetness on my face again. There was a large black dog in my sleeping bag, I was lying on the floor of the tent nowhere near my roll mat and the tent door was zipped shut. This meant that I had gone to bed with this feral animal and closed the door behind me.
I crawled out of the tent on my knees, trying to get away from the heat in the canvas prison but it was just as hot and humid outside. I tried to get the Cheeky van door open to get a drink but my strength betrayed me and I felt faint. All I could do was try to over myself onto the ground for fear I would fall and hurt myself. My whole body trembled and I found it very difficult to open my eyes.
Gareth frantically tried to search through my hair for ticks as he had just been reading though the first aid manual and he thought I displayed all the signs of tick poisoning.
For the rest of the day, I tried to get as many fluids in me as possible but the most I could swallow was half a litre. Laying down in the back of the van, falling in and out of a dreadful sleep I suffered the worst hang over I have ever had. After finding the boys again at Wallaman Falls I had completely forgotten about my prior thirst and didn’t drink anything. It is amazing that you can forget about your thirst so easily. I have never been one to drink very much and I always have to remind myself to drink a little. Because I had lost so much water during the climb down to the falls and didn’t rehydrate I was suffering extreme dehydration. Much like the guys reaching out for mirages in the desert in movies I had found myself deliriously in aid of water.
I had learned a very important lesson. Hydrate or die as my good friend Matt says, a very difficult lesson for someone who hasn’t drank anything non caffeinated since 1984 and pees in cubes once every six months.